JAI MANGLU BABA

How is ‘A’ related to ‘D’ type long link relationship questions in the analytical reasoning section of those aptitude tests get on my nerves as like me, English also doesn’t have much respect and sense of human societal relationships. Saaley ek ‘aunty’ title ke under saari chhoti chachi, badi chachi, badi taayi, chhoti taayi, bua , mami , mausi sb cover kr lete hain..

Kon kehta hai in rishton me kuch ni rakha..arrey hum se puchho inki keemat..

Mujhe yaad hai wo din jab meine manglu baba ke ashram me mannat maangi thi ke jis din mujhe plane me baithne ka mauka milega mein nangey paaon unke ashram ke pichhwade jakar , unkey keley ke paed ko peela dhaga bandkar nariyal forunga aur baba ke daan patra me 11 rupaye chadaunga!

Aj wahi 11 rupaye rang la gye.... manglu baba ne meri sun li...unke ghar me der hai pr andher nahi... (manglu baba ka Prasad) ... meri mausi ki behan ki saas ke bete ke chachey ke bhatijey ke cousin ki saali ki nanad ke husband ke dost ke father minister hain... and guess what ab toh hum plane waley ho gye hain!!

Do u knw, what was the reason for my last break up?? Kya? Mein Brahman ka ladka hu aur wo kayasth ki beti hai?? Arrey ni wo toh bas afwah thi..asali baat to ye thi ...ki meri girlfriend ke dusre boyfriend ke pass ‘karizma’ thi aur mere pas ‘90’ model bajaj chetak.. Pr ab usey pta chalega usne kitni badi galti ki...mere sath hoti toh aj plane me jati..

Chalo I have to go to manglu baaba...kahin der ho gyi toh naaraz na ho jayein...aur pass hua bill reject ho jaye...aur iss baar toh private chopper ki mannat mangni hai..bygod bada fast and furious baba hai.. aur haan mujhe khatti meethi goliyan bi leni hain..woh jisse ulti nahi aati

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Ctrl + Z

Is there anyone of u, who has never ever thought of undoing a particular moment of time to change its code and let it evolve into a different present?? Or in other words, have u never wished for a ‘Ctrl + Z’ function in your life???

It occurs to all of us indiscriminately for things ranging from anything in or beyond our control like after accidental formatting of some important files, some road accident, a messed up exam, missed flights/trains, some burnt out dish, some watered important papers, a prank that got serious, addiction, finding ur break up mate with someone else, a night of sudden rush of emotions, some unwilled crime and the list never ends.

Probably it’s not the feeling itself but the after reaction that accounts to distinct human nature and hundreds of psychological terms. Here comes, the locus of control, which may find some ‘externals’ to stick to ‘everything happens for good’ philosophy and overcome or ‘why just everything bad happens to me’ types to shatter; and the ‘internals’ to get totally blown up or the poised beings to hold their composure.

Then comes humanities deepest quests of cosmic evolution; if the things are evolving like systematic unrolling of a tangled thread, a regular evolution or is it like free one as that of a Brazilian butterfly flapping its wings to bring tornadoes in Texas? Well chaos theory seems much plausible.

But can anyone change the initial parameters at present, let’s say with some deep concentrated thought, to lead to a different future? And not just to different but to best future? Lets peek into Eric Bress and J. Mackye Gruber directed ‘The Butterfly Effect’ in which the protagonist Ashton Kutcher with the ability of undoing his past events, even after trying his best to provide best circumstances to his dear ones never leads a perfect situation and rather finds harming them in a way or other even losing his girl ‘Amy Smart’ at the end of movie.

Probably, it’s the Anthropic principle which holds the things at broader level; And for personal level, there is no best situation but just favorable and unfavorable circumstances which can be handled skillfully. For let’s take the case of some addiction be it smoking. Most of cases arise due to peer pressure in hope of looking cool or matured or sometimes the simple argument is to be a man!!! Now that’s something gross, if 17-18 yrs of holding that manly thing under your pants couldn’t tell you who you are; Do you think a cigarette butt could?? Don’t befool yourself..

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X PORN

Its quite long that i have updated my blog. Though ideas and thoughts, as usual, kept haunting my mind, it was a bit difficult to take time to process them into full fledged posts. As now, i have concluded my project semester and the like stuff that took me involved, i am putting lots of those into one post. One more thing, the page is redirected and i want my blogger buddies to shift to this and join this.

For the blogger buddies, who have come here with the sole intent of finding some kinky stuff to satiate their deviant tastes, i announce beforehand that the title is a little bit of dupery and the title 'X PORN' stands for '10 Personalities Outspeaking Repulsive Notions'. :)

Although there are lots of such people, lets take some of those of India's concerns.

Barkha Dutt : The tough woman, u might have got a chance to catch sometime through ‘the third eye’ column of ‘The Hindustan Times’ or the NDTV talk show ‘We The People’ or some news bulletin, if nothing else, atleast through her projections in ‘Romilla Dutta’ a war news reporter wearing a cropped haircut played by actress Preity Zinta in bollywood flick ‘Lakshay’. The lady, who has ever shown her enthusiasm at its full swing bringing every tragic event be it Kargil war, Tsunami or the 26/11 mumbai attack right before ur eyes in ur home in as detailed way as possible, abusing every rule of ethical journalism, jeopardizing many a live and helping terrorists in every which way, inviting a great deal of harsh criticism from Indian Navy, government officials on media, information ministry and bloggers community. The worst part was that, instead of accepting her mistake, she was found suing Chaitanya Kunte, a blogger condemning her irresponsible behavior.

Arindam Chaudhary : Recall the full colored page advertisements highlighting ‘ Dare to think beyond IIMs’. Yes m talking of that very daring guy with claims taller than Burj Dubai, a graduate and dean of his family institute IIPM, an institute which is self proposed to be the best B school in India with some facilities which no indian school can ever dream of providing and not to forget free laptops and foreign tours to its students over and above the best placements ever!!??!!??..!! The claims were challenged by many a parties like jammags and other and were falsified in every which way. Leaving it aside, the guy has fully expressed himself and his every new conceived notion of his mind ranging from anything to every thing ( even free counseling and advices for what movies should u watch!!!) through his paid full page advertisements in various national dailies.

Ajmal Amir Kasab : Meet the special guy, the lone surviving 26/11 terrorist, who is living at an expense of Rs. 8.5 laks a day by Maharashtra government accounting to more than 32 crores so far ( a Times of India report). The 2008 mumbai massacre prime accuse is a very hard-to-please guy and demands luxury treatment. Don’t get blown-up by his demands. Demands are very simple n placative like mutton biryani n basmati rice for his food, perfume for fighting his bad body odour, toothpastes for his happydent smile, urdu newspaper (which one?) and stroll outside the cell for fresh air. Don’t u appease him and he gets wild with rage and abuses the jail staff.

Russell Peters : The Anglo-Indian descent, a Canadian stand up comic. Get some of his videos on youtube and u ll come to know how racially charged dumb ass he is!! Man, he has got springs all over his body to make those ridiculous expressions just to utter complete crap about Indians. I would be entertained if he had any healthy comedy stuff be it against Indians, but most of the time its so cheap stuff to get cheap American laughs!! The funny part is yet to come, INDIANS! yes, some of my Indian friends are more than happy to buy his over expensive tickets just to listen to how cheap Indians are!

U call it modesty! I call it stupidity.

Sameer Barua: Prof. Barua, director IIM A announces ‘IIMs have decided to continue with computer-based test for 2009. We also look forward to continue the CAT through computer-based testing in future’. CAT, one of the most coveted exams in India, was marred by technical glitches, mismanagement, unfair advantages, cheating cases, question leakages, server breakdown and bla-bla, this year. CAT was conducted online, first time in its history for 2.41 lakh candidates across the country. IIMs should definitely be praised for this innovative step. Conducting paper- pencil based test for such a large no. of students was getting very tough for the institutes as it leaves professors at IIMs busy for weeks taking care of printed papers for security purposes. And conducting a retest is not at all easy task and could cause a lot of mayhem and changes in academic schedule. But seeing all the disaster, the action taken cant be justified on any basis. As in a country, where IIMs are no less than religious institutes and exams like CAT, JEE are held sacred, determining future of large section of student community, taking such a action that too when the IIMs are internally divided (all iim faculties including directors except directors iim a/b are demanding a retest to maintain integrity of test and restore student faith in the exam. The egoistic Barua, tells director IIM C to conduct his own test if he doesn go his accord!!) is condemned in every which way.

Shabana Azmi : A film actress , a social activist, a former MP and a muslim (as she introduces herself), has ever spoken out her mind very frankly and openly. Though she sounds a bit rational sometimes but the lady really loses her way in flow. The lady who suddenly came to know sometime back what her religion is, finds herself throwing various statements concerning muslims and islam. But the lady had to take the rebuke from her own community in the ‘veil controversy’ and was told to mind her business. Last year it occurred to the same lady to state that ‘Indian democracy is unfair to muslims and despite Indian secularism muslims are discriminated against'. This was something really gross and incomprehensible, that too when the country had seen a muslim president and when the prime minister of the nation- Dr. Manmohan Singh- announces that the minorities especially muslims must have first claim on resources (although a cheap political stunt for vote bank). For her statements of she not getting a flat, she should come to know that its not the fault of Indian constitution but the muslim community which makes itself less adaptable anywhere due to its preconceived notions.

Bajrang Dal: This goes for all be it Ram sene, shiv sena , bajrang dal, VHP or anyother self proclaimed guardian of our Indian culture. Who gives right to such fools to define and design our culture?? What do they know of our culture?? Do you think India, a land changing its color every 100 km in every respect be it religion, language, style, dress, festival, foods etc sticks to a culture defined by these fundamentalists. I don’t think ancient Indians who had such a high hold on spiritual science would find sex to be something petty and repulsive. This pious activity should be cherished and celebrated. I suppose there have always been enough negative elements in the society to modify our culture to suit their own. And a section of society is always docile enough to take anything from such overcharged fools.

Raj Thakrey: I really don’t find words to say about this superhero. Before my blood blast off my veins, I prefer to keep mum and quit.

Mayawati: A self proclaimed ‘zinda devi’- living goddess. This devi is my favorite. I have already made her references in my earlier posts. The goddess who, sometimes back, was engaged in making the land of UP a heaven by beautiful gardens and all, now wanted its trifurcation for its better development. Need I say more?

Guess what : Who is last of these X pornstars??? Not Shah Rukh Khan, Its me, the krazy idiot...after all I too speak a lot of nonsense all the time. Haina??

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Family

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Placement Probability

How fast the time passes!! Time is the most relativistic thing I have seen, felt so far. No, I am not talking of the Lorentz equations or Einstein’s fancies. But the thing that how time for me changes its speed in such a consistent random fashion every few frames that too when I am standing supposedly constant in space with zero velocity.

Sprawling out in my chair, gesturing at the ceiling with my neck supported on its back, eyes rolled upwards and feeling the weight of joblessness, I was wondering how the time passes! Just a month more, and am gonna conclude my project semester, finally ingressing the final semester. Days back, college life started when things were on high, admissions, dreams, smiles. Times, my university flaunting itself as the 9^th best technical institute across the nation. Soon the fraud was so obvious and it was displaced 5 positions down to 14^th best. Whatever! Doesn’t matter now. Times, carrying the would-be chemical engineering tag. You tell people that you are doing something called chemical engineering and not the computers or electronics, what they think engineering is all about, and see the expression of their contorted faces, just to wonder what crime you have committed. Then times, when there was some air of recession thing all around. Before I cud understand much of what it was, it was over. But hints were tapped to back of my mind, what it could mean. Something was constantly reminding me of the Murphy ‘s Law.

Murphy’s Law- ‘Whatever can go wrong will go wrong and at the worst possible time’.

So if there is a possibility of me being left jobless in this hour of need, it will happen. :(

Can I deny its implications and mind myself a bit. No, the law feeds indirectly on one of the most beautiful sciences ‘Thermodynamics’. Yes, though it was not proposed in accordance with it but the one of the fundamental laws – the second law of thermodynamics supports it in a way or other. At least being a chemical engineer , I am supposed to be reverent to it. :)

So, lets see what the law tells me about my placements. For that I have to turn to Mr. Joel Pel, to use his equation for the moment -

P_{M –} probability of being jobless, K_M - Murph's constant equal to 1, the importance of the event (I), the complexity of the system involved (C), the urgency of the need for the system to work (U) and the frequency the­ system is used (F). ( all on scale of 10). F_M is Murphy’s factor, a very small number that can only be calculated on a 386-computer running Windows 3.1. Here we will approximate it by F_M ≈ 0.01.

Now I = 8 ( arrey yar, for this I have spent these 4 yrs.)

C = 9 ( justified- cgpa, resume, aptitude test, technical test, technical interview, HR interview..)

U = 8 (ofcourse, its this urgentt)

F= 1 ( check it for one dream company)

P_M comes out to be 1. So the placement is impossible in hour of need. How true! So the seventh semester has sort of passed with it. But hope the hour of need is over !!!

For now, I can stick to Franklin’s rule.

Franklin's Rule - Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he will not be disappointed.

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The holy mask 2

This post is sequel to The holy mask I

Given a positive charge q, can u measure accurately, the force experienced by it due to electric field generated by another charge lets say, Q?? Definitely not . The reason being the charge q, howsoever small, will alter the source distribution. The same way, to be a part of this cosmos and to know the divine truth or the ultimate cosmic truth is contradicted and prohibited.

So continuing with the previous post no mortal being ( angels) could provide you with absolute cosmic truth. Bible was not faxed from heaven but was written here on earth itself with the limits of human mind. Jesus , today has turned merely a politically fueled hype to control and influence. A documentary zeitgeist says talks much about its probable origin. Wondering Hinduism, one of the oldest religions, a religion confused in itself, u listen to its infinite stories( Born in a hindu family, I have listened lots of. My mum makes it sure that I get to those at every occasion) only to find one contradicting another logically or in its own way. They just tried to cook a story from anything to everything. Created gods of everything n for everybody, even special for specials like shudras or homosexuals. Yes u read it correct. Talk of quran , the holy book of islam, the book of do’s and don’ts , the book demanding unconditional obedience to its commands, the book holding the words of god which were specially and particularly revealed to the Mohammad (an illiterate guy who told its followers to dictate the millions by the sword; a pedophile who consummated his marriage with a 9 yr old) doesn make any sense to me.

No I don’t bear testimony to anything above said. No u r not suppose to claim the authenticity to it. My own history dates back to 21 yrs only and in no way I can assure u what happened 2100 yrs back or before. Its just what I have heard, what I have read, what I have interpreted. And in no way I want to offend anyone on any bases.

Just to hold my above statement, and to escape the wrath of religious zealots, political goons and sick mentality, I had tried my best to make my last post as polite as possible and indirect using some reference to mayawati. But my dear readers found it utter straggling and ridiculous. The purpose was just to show the fakeness of these figures. As u never know our future generations may find themselves kneeling in temples of Mayawati. (Why not , so do we have seen temples of bollywood actor amitabh bachan in west Bengal or of the father of nation ‘Mahatma Gandhi’ in orissa). For she may have a puran written proposing her story of virgin birth, a devi who walked on water or who cured people by touch or merely by sight, god only knows, what’s gonna happen.

It is the religion itself which has ever taught us that there is no god. Science in its every form proposes the simplicity, intangible and inexplicable beauty of god. Take the case of Thermodynamics, a beautiful science, in its interpretations proposes the divinity in such a beautiful way.

Strange but True.

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The holy mask 1

Being a human I have always been kind of stupefied by the cosmic prank and the illusory world. Moreover, my mother land, a secular state by its constitution, a land of gods and goddesses, a potpourri of all religions, a state where freedom to religion, freedom to expression are fundamental rights, a land emblazoned all over with colors of festivals, rites, rituals, myths, religious places & religious riots; a Hindustan where everything important to man is sacred- revered, personified and assigned divine status be it the plants ,the trees , the fire, the water, the earth, the sky, the air, the mountain, the cows, the snakes, the birds, the food , the money, the power, the knowledge, the sun, the moon, the stars, the planets...anything n everything...u name it and v have it...; has added every bit to it...

What I have learnt so far is that life is something full of struggle and difficulties and my only solace is if I approach the feet of some divine messenger of god and devote n surrender myself completely before it. Then, by gods grace all my problems, my sorrows, my sufferings will be taken away by some supernatural action, making my life a soothing heavenly experience.

But where wd I find such being???
Oh! There are lots of, so much that all the inhabitants on earth can stick to one each taking as their favourite. God has sent them in a large no. time to time as -Ram, Krishna , Buddha, Adam , Mohammad, Isa, Nanak, Mahavir, 33 crore devtas of hindus, 1.24 lakh rasuls of islam, 10 gurus of sikkhism , 1000s of still more gurus, preachers, saints and babas .

But there are lots of gods, I am confused!!! how should I select one among them? Should I take the most famous god or the least famous god or the one with more no. of stories or the one with more miraculous life or more heroic deeds??? God help me!
No, u r wrong. God is only ONE. Every religion be it any proposes the same thing. None of the above divine beings called themselves as supreme but the son of god, the prophet of allah, the avatar of bhagwan. What I have learnt from religion is – The supreme power is forbidden to come to this land in its holy form so sends its messengers or angels in mortal forms. For the Ram and Krishna were avatars of lord Vishnu, who in turn goes in 'yognidra' to receive powers from the ultimate supreme. Trinity of gods are just three elements of supreme like GOD is for Generator, Operator, Destroyer. So have prophets talked of allah, Jesus of god and nanak of ekaunkar satnam–one supreme true god.

This concept only is enough to make the world a living hell. As it gives a lot of space for birth of gods messengers everyday. So whenever there is decay of righteousness so comes an angel, decends to save the mankind from the evil, the shaitan, the satan, the demon.

So the happy news is god has sent again an angel that too to the sacred land ‘INDIA’, its just that we were ignorant enough not to recognize it. But there is some ‘Tripathi’ in U.P who probably had done lots of ‘Jap Tap and Vrat’ in his previous births, that he is granted a vision to recognize it. Its only true devotees that get such chance. His vision and creativity has portrayed it in beautiful forms. Yes, its none other but devi Mayawati (C.M.- U.P). A future hindu goddess. I say a hindu goddess for reasons:

*Slot for a still new god is only available in this so difficult to comprehend, so confusing, so soft and still so soothing religion of Hinduism.

* Acceptance of female deity is only possibility with so tender religion of Hinduism.

* Her devotees have portrayed in best resemblance with hindu mythology.

In left pic, devi Maya is holding a flag probably symbolic of her dalit love, a baby elephant(elephant symbolic of her big tummy absorbing everything i mean evil), with a halo effect giving light to the state.
Sooner a mayawati puran will be written for the future generations, which would go something like Maya took birth on the godly land of ‘bharat’ (pls don ask me if it is virgin birth) and is the devi of dalits, the downtrodden. The goddess of downtrodden had a very aesthetic sense and tried her best to turn the land into a paradise by constructing beautiful memorial parks for its devotees. Where in idols of other divine beings were constructed to spread the message of god. For her love of justice, she suspended thousands of corrupt people from looting her divine land. She was the one to contribute a lot of wealth to her kingdom under the name of taxes. It was she only who saved her people from the satan- a pwd engineer. Lot of negative people were against her, but with power she killed those demonic forces or made them dumb forever.

God save us.

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